Okay, guys. If Damon supposedly raped Caroline, why is Elena in love with him? Why would she fall for a rapist, and not just any old rapist, but someone who raped one of her best friends? Answer me that.
Because the show is fucked up in the sense the it will never acknowledge what Damon did to Caroline or Andie. Nor will it acknowledge what Katherine did to Stefan.
The writers won’t acknowledge it, JP think’s it’s fun times because she keeps repeating the story. It’s problematic how most of this show goes down when violent acts are seen as romantic. It’s dangerous.
It’s also not doing Elena any favors by having her be portrayed this way. She looks like a really shitty friend.
He didn’t rape either of them. He compelled them to let him bite them. Not to sleep with them. Yes, he’s done some really terrible things, but he’s never once compelled someone to sleep with him. If people think that, they need to rewatch the entire show and think about it before they jump to the conclusion that Damon’s a dirty little rapist.
I do not fucking condone rape; I hate it. It’s appalling and the very thought makes me sick to my stomach, and if Damon were one, I would be very set against him. As it happens, he’s not, so do not place me in the rape apologist category because I’m not a rape apologist. No-one deserves to have that happen to them and I will never side with a rapist. I’m siding with Damon because he isn’t one.
As for Elena, she isn’t the world’s greatest friend, but I’m not saying she’s the worst. If Damon were truly a rapist, do you really think he would still be alive? No. Bonnie would never have let him get away with it. Stefan wouldn’t have let him get away with it. Elena wouldn’t have let him get away with it.
It’s been a while since I was involved in the TVD fandom, so excuse me for any rustiness.
Since you’ve got this aversion to being called a rape apologist while participating in rape apologia, let me put it to you straight: you have a very limited and incomplete view of what, exactly, rape entails.
I am going to take this time to educate you and clear up some misconceptions. Note that I am not trying to attack any of the other characters’ character (with the exception of Damon and to an extent, maybe Stefan’s), as I believe that most of what you’re arguing against (e.g. why Elena would continue spending time with him, or see him as a romantic interest) is easily explained by poor writing.
PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT
HONESTLY WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS
DAMON IS A RAPIST. DAMON HAS RAPED CAROLINE WHICH MAKES HIM A RAPIST. IT’S OKAY TO LIKE RAPISTS AS CHARACTERS AS LONG AS YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THEY ARE RAPISTS.
WOOBIFICATION. IS. NOT. COOL.
but there is an incredibly large gap between why each of them have done what they did
damon did these things because he could, because he had the power to; he said it himself season one. it’s what he knows, it’s what is normal to him. he was a literally ruthless killer. like i get that he was tortured looking for katherine for all those years but that’s not at all an excuse for killing/turning tons of innocent people, including all the people close to elena
stefan slipped up maybe once or twice in the entirety of the first two seasons and then left to save damon’s life, was forced to kill, forced to turn his humanity off, and by the time he turned it back on he was so defeated by all the things he’d done that he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything other than anger because he’d lost everything. was it wrong of stefan to drive elena over that bridge? obviously and he owned up to it later and he tried to get his life back together. you can’t talk about psychology and then ignore the differences in stefan and damon’s psychological motivations
literally the only difference between stefan and damon are the timezones of their behavior. damon was a bastard during his period of knowing elena. stefan was a famous serial killer/rapist before knowing her. i’m not saying this justifies damon’s actions at all. the things he did were wrong, but people are so quick to crucify damon without even giving pause to the more subtle manipulations and wrongdoings of stefan.
damon is an actor, he acts out. stefan is a emotive person, he acts out with emotions. both are damaging in their own way, sometimes one more than the other. both brothers have fucked up equally, but it’s rare that stefan is ever truly given his due. he’s given excuses, whereas damon’s just the bastard brother who doesn’t give a shit. with stefan it’s, “oh but he did this and this, and he didn’t mean to because x, x, x.” the point is, it happened. it’s there. it’s been done. with BOTH of them.
damon was a bastard before that too. in truth we don’t know how long damon was doing what he did - but if we look at the string of people in his past we know it’s been going on a long time. damon is also a serial killer/rapist and if i’m not correct he also raped caroline more than once. and the thing is that most people don’t crucify damon at all - in fact damon HARDLY if ever get blamed for anything that he’s done because “he’s so much different now” and people like to ignore his wrongdoings. when stefan messes up he is legitimately jumped on for it because he rarely does something wrong with malicious intent, and so the second he does he’s crucified for it. maybe it’s because you’re in the delena fandom that you see this side of things, but it’s honestly the opposite: barely anybody gets more undeserved hate on this show than stefan.
and there’s a difference between having excuses for your behaviour and making up excuses. stefan’s behaviour, if not completely rational, is understandable. damon’s is not because there is nothing deeper to understand - he genuinely enjoyed killing people. he genuinely didn’t care about them. elena hurt him and to get back at her he snapped her brother’s neck and left her to hold his body. these aren’t things you can understand because there isn’t anything to delve into and understand. in general damon is the one people make excuses for. both brothers have not fucked up equally. i’m not saying this because i dislike damon or because i think stefan is perfect (i obviously don’t, and i love damon) but if you were to go through and catalog every single thing each of the brothers have done wrong to elena/to the people close to elena, damon’s list would be MUCH longer and most of the things would have much more weight than stefan’s.
You really all have to stop with this whole ‘Damon raped Caroline back in season 1’ ! He DIDN’T rape her ! GOSH ! He never compelled her to have sex with him, Damon compelled her ‘not to be afraid’. The first we see them having sex, she wasn’t compelled at all. HE DIDN’T RAPE HER !!!
And I don’t think Damon’s list would be much longer and most of the things would have much more weight than Stefan’s. As you said, I think you see this way because you’re on (if we can say it like that) the Stelena fandom.
Ok, here’s the thing. Of the two brothers, which one took the time to actually form a relationship with Elena’s brother? With her aunt? Of the brothers, which one stayed by his best friend’s side while he was dying, and which one took that opportunity to exploit Elena’s vulnerability to make himself into the hero yet again? (I’m sorry, but the ‘You have me.’ scene still makes me sick.) And of the two brothers, which one purposefully traumatized Elena by trying to drive her off the bridge where her parents died?
I sincerely hate it when people constantly try to make Damon out to be the ‘bad guy’ and act like he doesn’t care about anyone but Elena. Were they not watching Damon’s scenes with Alaric in 3x20? Did they not see over the last three seasons Damon slowly grow from not caring about anyone, to loving Elena, to beginning to care about others as well? “I have a small list”, and that list kept growing against Damon’s will. Even Caroline is on it. He didn’t defend Caroline to Liz for any other reason except to defend her, because he cared. He wasn’t doing that for a pat on the head from Elena, just like what he did for Rose—and he never told her about the good stuff he’s done for other people because it wasn’t about her. Which he said in his own words.
Damon might have been a dick in the past, and sure there was a time where the only person Damon remotely cared about was Elena, but he has changed, and it sincerely bugs me when people refuse to acknowledge that. (Well, insofar as anything online actually bugs me. xD) But the indisputable fact is, Damon has a relationship with Jeremy, and Stefan never bothered to get to know the kid. So this confession is faulty on that basis alone.
lol wow okay. This kind of BS is the reason why I can’t stand Damon, for anyone who’s wondering.
First of all, yes, he did rape Caroline. Compelling someone to change their beliefs about you, like “taking away their fear”, is also taking away their right to say ‘no’. If lying to someone to get them into bed and/or manipulating someone to have sex with you with is rape, then why should compulsion be treated any differently?
Second, what relationship does Damon have with Jeremy? The one where he treats him like shit? He’s constantly insulting him, and not like in a ‘playful bickering’ way like he sort of had with Alaric and Stefan era S2, like in a ‘picking on someone smaller than you’ way. Jeremy doesn’t even get to insult him back, just has to keep walking and take it, and then he’s expected to be a DE shipper because of more BS reasons.
And yeah, he had a friendship with Alaric and a relationship with Rose, but those weren’t for Elena’s benefit so I don’t understand why they’re being brought up? And lol, with Jenna, really? I don’t seem to remember either of the Salvatore’s being friends with her.
Are people really still saying that Stefan was manipulating Elena/trying to make the moment about himself/taking advantage of her? Is that what people are calling comfort now? He was trying to say “I’m here if you need me”, because Stefan hasn’t been there for her through the majority of S3 and feels like shit about it. He was trying to make her feel less alone, trying to make her know that she hasn’t lost everyone. What would you have preferred him to say? “You have Damon. Damon’s here for you. I’m a dick for trying to comfort you, but Damon’s being the selfless hero back at the tombs if you want him. Damon. Did I mention Damon?”
And of the two brothers, which one purposefully traumatized Elena by snapping her brother’s neck? There, fixed that for you. And while we’re at it, which one defended Elena when the other tried to force blood down her throat? Both brothers have a really long list of shit they’ve done, so if you really want to play this game, better acknowledge both of their crimes.
Damon cares about people other than Elena? So, you’re saying if it came down to slaughtering everyone Elena cares about (including Alaric, Caroline, Jeremy, Matt, Bonnie, etc.) or she would die, Damon would choose the second option? Really? I think Stefan is the only person Damon would choose above Elena, and after the hot mess that was S3, I’m starting to even doubt that.
Honestly, I’m not a big fan of either brother after S3, but I prefer Stefan to Damon and all of the above ^ is why.
I should probably just ignore this, but whateva. I feel the need to explain.
If this is someone following me, then you should just unfollow because I like Stelena a lot and I’m going to be reblogging a lot of them. I adore Elejah and they come first for me, but Stefan is my third choice for Elena.
And now onto Damon/Delena. I’m just gonna say this now: EVERYTHING UNDER THIS LINE IS MY OPINION. MINE. If you disagree, I don’t think you’re stupid or wrong, it just means that we have different opinions. I’m not expecting anyone to agree with me, I’m just stating my opinion. MY OPINION. Okay, let’s start.
First of all, I don’t hate Damon as a character, but Delena makes me really dislike him. I loved season 1 Damon, I really did. But then the Delena stuff started and it just ruined his character for me.
The primary reason I don’t like Damon when he’s around Elena? Because when Damon is around Elena, he’s selfish. He’s the epitome of selfishness. This trait is fine, it’s realistic even. But it’s when people make excuses for him and say he’s not selfish that pisses me off.
And no, don’t give me any of that BS about how he takes away Elena’s choices, treats her like a child, hurts her loved ones, and IS PERFECTLY FINE WITH PSYCHICALLY FORCING HIS CHOICES ON HER because HE LOVES HER. No. That is not love. He may have feelings for Elena, he may care about her, but at the end of the day, he puts his feelings and needs above hers, and to say that Elena would still be alive and Matt would be dead if he had been there proves that. He will do whatever it takes to keep Elena alive, even if it hurts her, even if it makes her feel guilt for the rest of her life. That is not love.
Now, I’m not saying Damon is evil and Stefan is a saint. I’m still sort of pissed at TVD/Julie/Elena for pretty much ignoring the fact that Stefan killed tons of people while he was a ripper just because he’s sorry for it.
But that’s the thing. He’s sorry for what he did. He tries to change. He tries to show Elena that he’s a better person. He tries to respect her wishes. He tries. That’s why I can sort of forgive him. What apology has Damon shown for the shit he’s done? What real change has he made? None, because he thinks forcing Elena to do what he wants is perfectly okay. He thinks he knows what’s best for her because Elena’s just such an idiot and is constantly making dumb decisions. No. Whether or not she does, that is the attitude you have for a child, not your partner or your equal.
And ugh at the ‘HE JUST NEEDS LOVE’ line. If you want someone to love you, you need to earn it. You need to respect them and put them first. Pulling out some childhood sob story and whining about how no one ever chooses you ain’t gonna cut it. Especially when you continue to be an asshole to everyone around you when people don’t act the way you want them too.
And you know what? Someone did choose Damon. Stefan choose Damon. Above Elena, above everything he had in Mystic Falls, above himself. All for Damon. And did Damon give a shit? No. He goes and chases after Elena despite knowing Stefan still loves her, despite knowing what his brother sacrificed for him.
I get that Damon had a hard life, I get that he has some issues. But he doesn’t need love. He needs to step back, grow the hell up, and realize that not everything centers around him and his needs just because his love life hasn’t been puppies and rainbows.
(Also, just fyi, I’m probably a little biased about this issue because I’ve seen and experienced “love” like this IRL. This ‘I know best’ BS is not romantic in the slightest and can easily become abusive. The fact that anyone tries to woobify Damon after this crap is just really irritating to me because I’ve known a lot of ‘Damon’s’ and they’re all assholes.)