your humanity
is killing you;
turn it off.this-rough-cut-design:
#okay; so Stefan is just as awful as Damon when it comes to rape and murder and abuse [typically of Elena] and neither one is#forgive/forgettable (although Damon’s constant cowering of Elena by sexual and emotional abuse into learned helplessness/ co-dependency#squicks me out more for personal reasons) but Stefan is the most effectively t e r r i f y i n g (even more so than Elijah imho) villain#that the show has ever shown us; because he is just so much more intelligent that Damon & Klaus and#yet MESSIER and more untamed than Katherine & Elijah; that just makes him even more dangerous and he#just completely *defines* himself around whoever he loves atm (seriously#rewatching S1 Stelena with his actions in S3 in mind made me see just how#martyring he was around her) because Stefan has ALWAYS needed someone to define himself for him#whether he was his father’s *perfect son or Klaus’ ripper or Elena’s ”savior”#(Damon is very complicated person to base your life around but Stefan usually manages)#because he NEEDS to be dominated and he NEEDS to be controlled and it’s tragic and terrifying and awful because he’s NEVER been real#and it’s because of his father’s abuse and then Katherine’s rape and abuse of him that she called love#and then it’s Damon’s possessive and vengeful and spiteful abuse#that they BOTH call brotherly love#and then it’s Lexi ‘fixing’ him by torturing him#and then it’s Klaus LITERALLY TAKING AWAY HIS FREE-WILL and all that jazz#and he LIKES it because if someone else is *making* him do this#then *of course* it’s not his fault!!#and although I hate the implications of the predominately teenage viewership romanticizing this and absolving him of his actions#I also (because I’m an awful person) find it d e l i c i o u s because they are doing EXACTLY what Stefan wants them to do!!!!#and his story is the cycle of abuse but with FANGS and HUNGER and it is sad and terrifying and I love it

TVD GENDERSWAP » eli gilbert and kalvin pierce (dylan o’brian), sofia salvatore (lyndsy fonseca), danielle salvatore (alexandra daddario), carter forbes (hunter parrish), tyler lockwood (olivia thirlby), jamie gilbert (alexandra chando), benjamin bennett (jesse williams), nikole mikaelson (elisha cuthbert), and eve mikaelson (claire forlani).
#you know what. it’s actually really frustrating that they left this scene out. #because seeing stefan become so unhinged in this moment #at a time when he was doing his damndest to convince himself #that he’d shut off his emotions; that he wasn’t slowly unraveling—or that he wasn’t already an unraveled thing #would’ve added an important and fascinating layer (one of the many that were missing from his s3 arc) #and for bonnie it would’ve been brilliant as well #firstly - seeing her DOING again; as she always does #spending every free moment; waking or sleeping; trying to get these boxes open would’ve been great #and more importantly—seeing her yell at stefan. #like legitimately scream with that little pitched hysteria at the end #would’ve made the hugest difference in a series of interactions b/w them that have left me progressively uncomfortable #bc bonnie is so silenced; and ludicrously so when it comes to stefan given what he’s done #but nope. #nice things. you can’t have them. #bitterness is my forever drink #ALSO. ALSO. #harking back to my favourite line b/w these two: #’it scares me. what you are. what i am.’ #how cool would it have been for her to see him have this flare of uncontrolled rage? #something (at the time) he was desperately trying not to show anyone? #eh. #fuck this show. #bonnie bennett (9) #stefan sets fire to the rain #bonnie x stefan #i hear adele in the offing
-Julie Plec (x)

#ok but #i’m gonna be real here #this makes me laugh #because stefan actually believes his own bullshit #like he knows it’s not true #but he seriously believes his own bullshit #because it’s all he’s got #this idea that he is better and the ‘good’ brother #no stefan hunny #damon doesn’t go massacre villages #but okay dear#like is that why you write in your diaries #so you can convince yourself that you are a monster #and that you feel horrible for the things you have done #yet the contrast between you writing in your diaries #and writing names on a trophy wall#so you can go inside it and relive the kill whenever you want #is a bit ironic#you’ve got a thing for writing out everything you’ve done and remembering it #and you make me sad because i truly believe you buy your own bullshit #that’s why you hate klaus so much yet still look guilty as fuck when you desiccate him #because you know he’s partially right #but no no #stefan is not a ripper #stefan is the good brother #it’s like you truly don’t even know yourself #because you have so many opposing sides vying for control #so many people who want you to be someone else#something different
A+ NOBEL PRIZE FOR THOSE TAGS

#GUYS. #remember how this scene became that much more resonant when we discovered stefan’s trophy wall? #stefan’s obsessive diarising and note-taking and record-keeping is one of my favourite things about him #in part because it does speak to an obsessive need to control #to frame his narrative and all the players within it #that’s interesting to me. tell me more. #stefan sets fire to the rain #i srsly watched the pilot and when he says ‘i wouldn’t want anyone to read mine’ #i screamed out loud BECAUSE of course he doesn’t want anyone to read his journals #even if he’s half self-mythologising inside of them; they’re also all the bloodied parts of him turned inside out #and for a man who can barely stand to confront those himself; having someone else see it - see what a monster he is. #what a fucking nightmare #stefan could secretly be the best character on the show. if they gave a shit about him.
edit: YESSSS:
*sobbing*
edit: oh screw these guys